Grief is a natural and deeply personal response to loss, often experienced after the loss of a loved one or life events such as leaving a job or moving out of home. People often turn to medication or seek professional help in search of something to ease the feelings of pain and isolation.
But could that void be filled by a sense of empathy and human connection?
Melanie Tassos who teaches about death, dying and grief at La Trobe University, says grief support groups are one answer. They help to bring people together over shared experiences, reducing feelings of seclusion.
“The ideal outcome of a support group is to provide a sense of peace or maybe an opportunity to shift from a chaotic state to a resolution state,” she tells upstart.
Tassos says the Biopsychosocial-spiritual model (BPSS) used for wellbeing assessments can explain the interconnecting factors that impact a human being’s mental state. The BPSS is made up of biological factors (genetics), psychological factors (personality traits), socio-economic factors (environmental influence), and spiritual factors (religion).
She says that these groups, however unknowingly, tend use the BPSS model without the background of psychological education and use their similar backgrounds and struggles to deal with their grief.
“What we find is that it avoids isolationism, it’s very cathartic, regular and healing … it’s also really educational because you recognise that your grief is not isolated and you have the ability to learn from others,” Tassos says.
Lucy Walsh lost her husband 18 months ago and created a support group with fellow widower, Lyn Wang, to help her through the grieving process. This group has grown into a community of love and support which has helped the pair through the tough times. Walsh tells upstart that her own experiences prompted her to start the support group.
“I found that there were very few people who would just listen to me. People would just tell me what to do [and] how to feel. It’s that gut wrenching grief that if you don’t experience it you don’t understand,” she says.
“[They’d say] feel grateful for this, that and whatever … for me it was finding those common things with other people.”
Tassos says people require support in different ways when dealing with traumatic experiences.
“Grief is not linear, not even a little bit, and there are times when individuals need to be alone and process it within themselves,” she says.
“Some people much prefer to have conversation, others like physical presence from someone else…but it is really important to recognise that people really benefit from social connection rather than being isolated.”
Compassionate communities is an idea centred around the sense of community and its important role in end-of-life care. The use of this idea is focused on health promotion and public health which Tassos says can greatly help individuals. She also says that a lot of councils use this idea to create programs as they recognise that communities and individuals require “a lot of support” when times are tough.
“This idea of compassionate communities is a grassroots initiative and puts people in a place where they are supported by people of their own kind,” she says.
“We as a community respond better when we have a shared experience, a shared humanity, a shared kindness as well.”
Walsh says she gets so much out of going to the group meetups and always leaves feeling uplifted. She also sees it as an opportunity to help someone else who may be going through something similar.
“I’ve learnt a lot and I’ve done it tough… I feel like what I’ve learnt about my grief and [my husband’s] death I can give to others,” she says.
Article: Hayley Wapper is a third-year Bachelor of Media and Communications (Sports Media and Marketing) student at La Trobe University. You can follow her on Twitter @hayleywapper906.
Photo: Sad Women by StockSnap available HERE and is used under a Creative Commons Licence. This image has not been modified.
